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The ‘Flat- Earth’ Society..!

The ‘Flat- Earth’ Society..!

Nobody in their wildest dreams a few hundred years ago believed the earth was round, “Round!” they would have laughed at you scornfully, “Am I laying flat stones for my castle flooring or curved ones? Ha, ha, ha!”

Today the whole world knows the earth is round, yet there are still thousands who believe the earth is flat, and remain members of the ‘Flat Earth Society” In fact, last year their membership increased by two hundred, including  celebs like rapper-singer Bobby Ray Simmons Jr. who tweeted: "No matter how high in elevation you are... the horizon is always eye level ... sorry guys... I didn't wanna believe it either but it’s true!"

Now laugh as you might, I found members of the Flat Earth Society existed in our own country! I found the first lot, as they propped up a reluctant dimpled young man and his Italian mother to continue leading their damaged political party, “Without you two our party is finished!” cried the topiwallahs as they tried to push the tired duo against a fit, well- trained saffron war machine.

“Are you from the Flat Earth Society?” I asked, and I saw them all nodding their heads, then explaining to me how their party could fall off the edge of the earth if mummy and sonny left.

I left the band of ‘flat earthers’ in search of others and did not have to look far: “No criticizing us, if we sit on motorbikes, with or without helmets, with or without masks, on court days or non-court days!” said another small group, even as they held a book that explained the rights of citizens, with regard to freedom of speech.

“Yes, yes, we are from the same society!” they said, “People must continue believing we rise from the east and set in the west and our light, lights up the country!” they exclaimed as they tried to push a lawyer into jail for believing the earth was round.

Had never realized we had so many members when I saw a group of youngsters pointing to the mask I wore against the virus, “Wearing a mask is a conspiracy!” they growled, “It’s taking away our freedom to expose our faces!”

“But you may get the virus!” I whispered aghast, through my mask.

“The virus is another conspiracy!” shouted one of the youngsters, “There is no virus, and no need for masks, social distancing and hygiene!” Saying this they gave each other a high fi, coughed into my face, then walked away.

I soon found many more examples of members of the same Flat Earth society existing in our country, but they’re a powerful group at the moment and I’ll leave it to you to find out, rather than landing up inside a jail or being thrown off the edge of the earth..!

( bobsbanter@gmail.com)

(Published on 24th August 2020, Volume XXXII, Issue 35)