hidden image

Bob's Banter by Robert Clements No Victory Processions..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
03 May 2021

The three men looked at each other fearfully, “We are being called murderers!” whispered the chief to the other two, “How ever could a court call us that?”
“Next, they may hang us!” said the junior of the three, “I have an allergy to ropes, especially when they are round my neck!”
“Your allergy might last just a few seconds!” opined the third man.
“I don’t want to die!” said the junior of the three, “Why should I die?”
“Well for the thousands of deaths we have caused through crowds we turned a blind eye to, masks we did not insist crowds wear, and distances they should have kept between each other, and now the whole country suffers because of us!”
“Yes, thousands are dying!” whispered the chief, “But shouldn’t the ones who addressed the meetings be blamed? Why only us?”
“And I don’t like ropes!” whispered the junior most feeling his neck, “I don’t want to be strung on a pole in front of jeering crowds..”
“They don’t do it like that anymore,” said his senior, “It is done quietly in a prison!”
“Prison!” screamed the other two looking at each other, “Prison?”
“We have to think up something quickly!” said the chief of the three, “Something that will save our necks!”
“We could have a ballot!” said the junior, “A nationwide ballot to ask people whether we should be branded murderers or not?”
“Are you crazy?” asked the chief, “They may change the punishment from hanging to chopping off our heads!”
“Oh no!” said the junior most, holding his head, “I have an allergy to choppers too!”
“With all your allergies, how did you get this job?” asked the other two together.
“A minister asked me if…”
“Minister?” the other two asked in surprise, “Okay never mind, even we got our jobs the same way! But now we need an idea to keep us from the rope or knife! No minister is going to save us!”
“We need to show something that proves we are terribly sorry for what we have done!” said the chief, “Like going into mourning, wearing sackcloth and ashes and walking down the streets of our country!”
“Let’s do that!” said the junior most.
“Wear sackcloth and mourn? Three of us?”
“No, the whole country!”
“You want them to mourn for our misdeeds?” asked the other two, who almost always spoke the same words together, even in official statements, making many in the press wonder whether it was written by someone else, “You want them to mourn for us?”
“No,” said the junior most man, “Let them mourn for winning! Whoever wins will not be allowed to celebrate! There, in one move we have shown how sorry we murderers are!”
“Make that official! Immediately!” said the chief as he pulled out his rubber stamp, “We ban victory processions..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com
 

Recent Posts

The UP government's directive to display restaurant owners' names along the Kanwar Yatra route has sparked significant controversy.
apicture Dr. John Singarayar
29 Jul 2024
I was an impressionable 10-year-old when US President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in 1963. It made a lasting impression on me.
apicture A. J. Philip
29 Jul 2024
The Supreme Court has stayed an order requiring eateries to display nameplates reminiscent of apartheid-era South Africa and Nazi Germany.
apicture Ram Puniyani
29 Jul 2024
India will never forget that infamous night of June 25, 1975, when Prime Minister Indira Gandhi declared a state of Emergency nationwide.
apicture Cedric Prakash
29 Jul 2024
The RSS spreads its propaganda by targeting young minds through activities that disguise hate speech as cultural and holistic education.
apicture Arockia Rayappan
29 Jul 2024
In Madhya Pradesh, the illegal fee hikes by private schools have led to arrests of church officials.
apicture Isaac Gomes
29 Jul 2024
Water is both a destroyer and a preserver. In worldly terms, water is like a wife. We can't live either with her or without her.
apicture P. Raja
29 Jul 2024
What is more precious for the government: the lives of human beings or cattle?
apicture F. M. Britto
29 Jul 2024
I heard different religious heads from Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, the Bahai faith, Zoroastrianism, Jainism, and others with rationalist perspectives share their approaches to the Divine.
apicture Robert Clements
29 Jul 2024
How could there be Samvidhaan Hatya when the Emergency was proclaimed under Article 352(1) of the Constitution?
apicture G Ramachandram
22 Jul 2024