hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Being UnIndian..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
31 May 2021

With patriotism being questioned, sedition being defined and slogans being the criteria for motherland loyalty, we may have a confused people in the country: My daughter, who stands at attention when the national anthem is played even on TV for the cricket team, stopped me at the door while I was leaving, “You can’t dress like this dad! Very unpatriotic!” she exclaimed pulling the tie of my neck, making me wince with pain.
“Whoa! Whoa!” I said, “I’ve been wearing that tie for decades!”
“So have the British!” she said firmly, “And they left India quite a few years ago, though I guess you don’t know that!”
“I guess it’s my designer shirt next right?” I asked.
“Only khadi!” she said firmly, “I’ve already ordered a spinning wheel online; should be here in a few hours! And in case you’re going to say you don’t know how to spin, it comes with instructions!”
“But I don’t want to spin yarn!” I said.
“Aren’t you spinning one everyday as a writer?” she asked and I saw the faint traces of a smile. “And what’s that bulge in your back pocket?”
“My wallet!” I said simply. “You aren’t saying it’s unpatriotic to carry money are you?”
“Dad!” said the daughter wearily, “Do you know what that wallet is made from? How could you be so cruel? Instead of protecting animals, you carry their poor hides on you? And you call yourself national?”
I pulled out my wallet and laid it on the table. My tie and my shirt stared back at me, and for the first time in my life I felt I had done my country wrong. “I’m sorry!” I said simply and started on my way back to my room.
“Where are you going?” the daughter asked sternly.
“It’s going to be difficult going to work without a shirt or my wallet,” I said simply, “And till the courier boy brings my spinning wheel, I have nothing to do!”
“Sow seeds for your motherland!” said my daughter sternly.
“What?” I asked.
“Are you refusing to call this your motherland?”
“No!” I whispered, as I took the packet of wheat and rice grain she gave me and walked out without my shirt to start work as a farmer in my own backyard.
“What are you doing?” asked my neighbour as he looked over the wall and saw me shirtless, tieless, and sweating as I tilled the soil and planted the seeds.
“Trying not be unIndian,” I said as I looked at my daughter fearfully. “And please don’t say anything funny, we don’t want to be booked for sedition do we?”

bobsbanter@gmail.com
 

Recent Posts

The Emergency must be remembered, not as a tool to target a political party but as a lesson against authoritarian excess. Yet, we cannot ignore that worse violations of democratic norms and human righ
apicture A. J. Philip
30 Jun 2025
Fifty years later, India faces a chilling déjà vu with an 'undeclared' Emergency. Freedom of speech is stifled, dissent is suppressed, and institutions are compromised. True democracy demands resistan
apicture Cedric Prakash
30 Jun 2025
Amit Shah's claim that those who speak English will be ashamed evidences that the BJP-RSS is trying to bring down the populace and push India into another Vedic dark age where ignorance and superstiti
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
30 Jun 2025
The NSE's ?1,400 crore settlement with SEBI raises critical concerns about India's financial markets. Any perceived regulatory capture risks eroding trust.
apicture Jaswant Kaur
30 Jun 2025
Christian education in India has had a profound influence on democracy and social justice in the country. It played a pivotal role in challenging caste oppression, promoting inclusivity, and fostering
apicture Fr Soroj Mullick, SDB
30 Jun 2025
"The spread of digital culture, particularly evident among young people, is profoundly changing their experience of space and time; it influences their daily activities, communication, and interperson
apicture Joe Eruppakkatt
30 Jun 2025
Welcome to the Happy State of Emergency: Where freedom is carefully curated, minds are pre-cooked, and Big Brother doesn't need to frown—he just raises one eyebrow... and we salute…!
apicture Robert Clements
30 Jun 2025
The North-South divide reflects India's broader regional and cultural tensions. The progress of Southern states in health, education, and development contrasts with the Hindi belt's struggles on devel
apicture Thomas Menamparampil
23 Jun 2025
India's 2027 census and ensuing delimitation will redefine its political landscape. As northern states gain influence due to burgeoning population, southern states will face reduced representation des
apicture Dr John Singarayar
23 Jun 2025
For India to become a global healthcare power, it must democratise medical education—revise outdated rules, invest in public institutions, expand seats, embrace technology, and ensure affordability. A
apicture A. J. Philip
23 Jun 2025