hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Bring ‘Em Back..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
30 Aug 2021

Most everyone the world over are wondering why Biden was in such a hurry to bring his American troops back, and since I make it a point whenever I’m in Washington, to get myself photographed outside the White House, I thought I’d take a chance and make a call to Biden, with the hope he’d recognize me from all the pics the secret service must have taken of me.
“Hi President!” I said cheerily, and if it wasn’t good ole Biden recognizing a much photographed me as he replied, “Hi Bob, I recognized you..”
“From the pics outside the White House,” I completed.
“White House? Nah,” said Biden sounding puzzled, “Aren’t you JFK’s brother?”
“Hey that’s another Robert,” I said easy like, “and he’s dead!”
“Sorry to hear that!” said Biden, “How did he die? Peacefully I hope?”
“Shot!” I said.
“Oh, poor chap, JFK must have taken it badly!”
“JFK’s also dead!” I said, “Anyway Mr President, just wanted to ask you something!”
“Shoot!” said Biden, “Oh no don’t, I don’t want to go the way Robert went!”
“Why did you bring your troops back so quickly. I’m sure you could have been a bit more practical!”
“Ah Bob, I never wanted to!”
“You didn’t?” I asked incredulously, “But they’ve all left and Afghanistan is now in the hands of the Taliban. Did the Vice-President give the orders? She does seem like a woman who likes doing her own thing!”
“Nah! Nah! Can’t blame Komaula!”
“It’s Kamala!” I said.
“You mean they’ve changed my VP?”
“No, it’s pronounced Kamala!”
“Whatever, she’s not to blame!”
“Then who?” I asked, knowing I was going to get a scoop.
“Well you know, I keep forgetting to put my dentures on when I come to the Oval room!”
“It happens!” I said.
“Yeah and at 79, you need them just to be understood!” said the President.
“So, you forgot to put them on while coming up!” I said impatiently.
“Yeah, and the missus, she be cleaning the bed and it went with the sheets to the laundry and she got a lil’ perturbed!”
“Your dentures went to the laundry!” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah, you seem to know ‘bout such things, you also wear them Bob?”
“Not yet!” I said, “Then what happened Mr President.
“Well, she picked up the phone and called me in the Oval office and asked what she should do and just then this Defense Secretary of mine Lloyd Austin, he calls me, and he asks, ‘What shall I do with the soldiers in Afghanistan Joe?’ You know Bob at my age, I just mixed up both the phones and shouted into his, “Bring em back..!”
Ah well, it’s good to know it’s not the President’s fault, even as he whispered to me, “I ‘haven’t got them dentures back yet Bob ..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com   

Recent Posts

From emperors kneeling in penance to a president posturing as the Saviour, Trump's attacks on the Pope expose a reckless inversion of moral order.
apicture A. J. Philip
20 Apr 2026
The US-Israel attack on Iran marks a dangerous breach of international law driven by power, exposing the erosion of global norms, India's diplomatic missteps, and the perils of unchecked militarism th
apicture G Ramachandram
20 Apr 2026
The Vande Mataram row is less about patriotism than power, where enforced symbolism risks redefining nationalism as conformity to the majority religion. It undermines India's plural identity and its c
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
20 Apr 2026
Framed as welfare, the proposed Christian Board risks masking rights violations, expanding state control, and fragmenting vulnerable communities. It substitutes justice with management while sidelinin
apicture John Dayal
20 Apr 2026
New Delhi, April 14, 2026: In the backdrop of several ongoing conflicts and wars across the world, the Catholic Bishops' Conference of India (CBCI), through its Office for Dialogue and Desk for Ecumen
apicture Dr Anthoniraj Thumma
20 Apr 2026
The TCS Nashik case exposes a deeper truth: workplace harassment is not an exception but a systemic failure often hidden behind reputation, weak enforcement, and fear of retaliation—where silence is i
apicture Jaswant Kaur
20 Apr 2026
Pigs are now being weaponised as instruments of provocation, turning faith into hostility and everyday life into intimidation. Such tactics deepen segregation, normalise humiliation, and signal how ea
apicture Ram Puniyani
20 Apr 2026
Ambedkar was not just a social reformer but also a visionary economist, linking currency stability, industrialisation, and labour rights to social justice while exposing caste as an economic barrier.
apicture Dr J. Felix Raj
20 Apr 2026
The shock was not the new insult, but the contrast. Having once breathed as an equal, he could no longer accept the air of slavery.
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
20 Apr 2026
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God" (The Gospel according to Matthew 5:9)
apicture Dr Jude Nirmal Doss
20 Apr 2026