hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Bring ‘Em Back..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
30 Aug 2021

Most everyone the world over are wondering why Biden was in such a hurry to bring his American troops back, and since I make it a point whenever I’m in Washington, to get myself photographed outside the White House, I thought I’d take a chance and make a call to Biden, with the hope he’d recognize me from all the pics the secret service must have taken of me.
“Hi President!” I said cheerily, and if it wasn’t good ole Biden recognizing a much photographed me as he replied, “Hi Bob, I recognized you..”
“From the pics outside the White House,” I completed.
“White House? Nah,” said Biden sounding puzzled, “Aren’t you JFK’s brother?”
“Hey that’s another Robert,” I said easy like, “and he’s dead!”
“Sorry to hear that!” said Biden, “How did he die? Peacefully I hope?”
“Shot!” I said.
“Oh, poor chap, JFK must have taken it badly!”
“JFK’s also dead!” I said, “Anyway Mr President, just wanted to ask you something!”
“Shoot!” said Biden, “Oh no don’t, I don’t want to go the way Robert went!”
“Why did you bring your troops back so quickly. I’m sure you could have been a bit more practical!”
“Ah Bob, I never wanted to!”
“You didn’t?” I asked incredulously, “But they’ve all left and Afghanistan is now in the hands of the Taliban. Did the Vice-President give the orders? She does seem like a woman who likes doing her own thing!”
“Nah! Nah! Can’t blame Komaula!”
“It’s Kamala!” I said.
“You mean they’ve changed my VP?”
“No, it’s pronounced Kamala!”
“Whatever, she’s not to blame!”
“Then who?” I asked, knowing I was going to get a scoop.
“Well you know, I keep forgetting to put my dentures on when I come to the Oval room!”
“It happens!” I said.
“Yeah and at 79, you need them just to be understood!” said the President.
“So, you forgot to put them on while coming up!” I said impatiently.
“Yeah, and the missus, she be cleaning the bed and it went with the sheets to the laundry and she got a lil’ perturbed!”
“Your dentures went to the laundry!” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah, you seem to know ‘bout such things, you also wear them Bob?”
“Not yet!” I said, “Then what happened Mr President.
“Well, she picked up the phone and called me in the Oval office and asked what she should do and just then this Defense Secretary of mine Lloyd Austin, he calls me, and he asks, ‘What shall I do with the soldiers in Afghanistan Joe?’ You know Bob at my age, I just mixed up both the phones and shouted into his, “Bring em back..!”
Ah well, it’s good to know it’s not the President’s fault, even as he whispered to me, “I ‘haven’t got them dentures back yet Bob ..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com   

Recent Posts

Courts speak through evidence, not the religion of judges or the accused. Once judicial decisions are judged by identity instead of reasoning, the blindfold of Lady Justice falls, and with it, public
apicture A. J. Philip
13 Jul 2026
Religion loses its soul when it becomes a vehicle for power and profit. The Ayodhya donation controversy exposes how faith is exploited for political capital and commercial enterprise. Democracy deman
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
13 Jul 2026
The deadliest weapon in modern India is invisible. Armed only with smartphones, artificial intelligence, and psychological manipulation, cybercriminals are stealing fortunes, destroying reputations, a
apicture Jaswant Kaur
13 Jul 2026
The One Nation, One Election Bill might promise slightly more efficiency, but it will damage the constitutional foundations of India's democracy. Administrative convenience cannot justify concentratin
apicture Joseph Maliakan
13 Jul 2026
When every constitutional safeguard appears compromised, the judiciary becomes democracy's last refuge. Though there have been some recent judicial interventions, they are only on the fringes and quic
apicture G Ramachandram
13 Jul 2026
Mumbai is India's financial hub. With an estimated population of 12.5 million, it is home to more billionaires than any other city in Asia. This city is renowned for its Bollywood movies, ambitious sp
apicture Fr. Anil Prakash D'Souza, OP
13 Jul 2026
A night that starts Whenever a non-Dalit Picks up a weapon Because someone Of "his" caste Was insulted By the sight Of a Mlechchha standing tall.
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
13 Jul 2026
Democracy was never meant to end on polling day. It was meant to continue every day thereafter, with governments being questioned, ministers being challenged, and officials knowing that somebody, some
apicture Robert Clements
13 Jul 2026
Fifty years after the Emergency, the debate has shifted from suspended Democracy to whether democratic institutions can be hollowed out while elections continue and constitutional forms remain outward
apicture Thomas Menamparampil
06 Jul 2026
Is India moving forward or slipping backwards? Growing concerns over democratic institutions, civil liberties, economic inequality, and constitutional values have kept the national debate over whether
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
06 Jul 2026