hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Bring ‘Em Back..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
30 Aug 2021

Most everyone the world over are wondering why Biden was in such a hurry to bring his American troops back, and since I make it a point whenever I’m in Washington, to get myself photographed outside the White House, I thought I’d take a chance and make a call to Biden, with the hope he’d recognize me from all the pics the secret service must have taken of me.
“Hi President!” I said cheerily, and if it wasn’t good ole Biden recognizing a much photographed me as he replied, “Hi Bob, I recognized you..”
“From the pics outside the White House,” I completed.
“White House? Nah,” said Biden sounding puzzled, “Aren’t you JFK’s brother?”
“Hey that’s another Robert,” I said easy like, “and he’s dead!”
“Sorry to hear that!” said Biden, “How did he die? Peacefully I hope?”
“Shot!” I said.
“Oh, poor chap, JFK must have taken it badly!”
“JFK’s also dead!” I said, “Anyway Mr President, just wanted to ask you something!”
“Shoot!” said Biden, “Oh no don’t, I don’t want to go the way Robert went!”
“Why did you bring your troops back so quickly. I’m sure you could have been a bit more practical!”
“Ah Bob, I never wanted to!”
“You didn’t?” I asked incredulously, “But they’ve all left and Afghanistan is now in the hands of the Taliban. Did the Vice-President give the orders? She does seem like a woman who likes doing her own thing!”
“Nah! Nah! Can’t blame Komaula!”
“It’s Kamala!” I said.
“You mean they’ve changed my VP?”
“No, it’s pronounced Kamala!”
“Whatever, she’s not to blame!”
“Then who?” I asked, knowing I was going to get a scoop.
“Well you know, I keep forgetting to put my dentures on when I come to the Oval room!”
“It happens!” I said.
“Yeah and at 79, you need them just to be understood!” said the President.
“So, you forgot to put them on while coming up!” I said impatiently.
“Yeah, and the missus, she be cleaning the bed and it went with the sheets to the laundry and she got a lil’ perturbed!”
“Your dentures went to the laundry!” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah, you seem to know ‘bout such things, you also wear them Bob?”
“Not yet!” I said, “Then what happened Mr President.
“Well, she picked up the phone and called me in the Oval office and asked what she should do and just then this Defense Secretary of mine Lloyd Austin, he calls me, and he asks, ‘What shall I do with the soldiers in Afghanistan Joe?’ You know Bob at my age, I just mixed up both the phones and shouted into his, “Bring em back..!”
Ah well, it’s good to know it’s not the President’s fault, even as he whispered to me, “I ‘haven’t got them dentures back yet Bob ..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com   

Recent Posts

As China powers ahead with trillion-dollar trade surpluses and futuristic innovation, India drifts into culture wars and symbolic debates. Shrinking parliamentary scrutiny and political distraction ar
apicture A. J. Philip
15 Dec 2025
The rapacity for tribal land and violation of tribal autonomy are being masked by the Hindutva forces as a battle for personhood. Adivasi Christians face assaults, expulsions, and judicial indifferenc
apicture John Dayal
15 Dec 2025
The IndiGo meltdown exposes the more profound crises developing in India. We are drifting toward monopoly economics, where regulators just blink, corporations bully, and citizens pay. If essential sec
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
15 Dec 2025
India's democratic foundations—rooted in rights, modern education and egalitarian ideals—are being reshaped as Hindutva politics elevates duties over freedoms. Modi's rhetoric signals a shift from con
apicture Ram Puniyani
15 Dec 2025
When a woman leads, we expect her to do wonders and that her presence alone will solve the problems she inherits. At the very least, we expect her to understand women's anxieties, respond with empathy
apicture Jaswant Kaur
15 Dec 2025
In the cold, unforgiving silence of the prison cell, Keshav—once defined by his crime—now holds a driver's license, a key to a new life, and a quiet smile. This subtle yet profound transformation is t
apicture CM Paul
15 Dec 2025
As Hindutva leaders rewrite identity and weaponise myth, minorities remain loyal while being vilified—and lakhs of Hindus themselves flee the stifling culture imposed in their name. A nation built on
apicture Thomas Menamparampil
15 Dec 2025
O Sanatan, the walls of your temple ring with my suffering, Not with words, not with deeds, but with each inch of my flesh that has your stain upon it. I am the Pariah, branded at birth, a curse wri
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
15 Dec 2025
This year has shown us that dishonesty walks confidently through the front doors of our institutions. Chanakya's cleverness is praised. Cheating is normalised. Those who take shortcuts are applauded f
apicture Robert Clements
15 Dec 2025
From colonial opium to today's smartphones, India has perfected the art of numbing its youth. While neighbours topple governments through conviction and courage, our fatalism breeds a quietism that su
apicture A. J. Philip
08 Dec 2025