hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Bring ‘Em Back..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
30 Aug 2021

Most everyone the world over are wondering why Biden was in such a hurry to bring his American troops back, and since I make it a point whenever I’m in Washington, to get myself photographed outside the White House, I thought I’d take a chance and make a call to Biden, with the hope he’d recognize me from all the pics the secret service must have taken of me.
“Hi President!” I said cheerily, and if it wasn’t good ole Biden recognizing a much photographed me as he replied, “Hi Bob, I recognized you..”
“From the pics outside the White House,” I completed.
“White House? Nah,” said Biden sounding puzzled, “Aren’t you JFK’s brother?”
“Hey that’s another Robert,” I said easy like, “and he’s dead!”
“Sorry to hear that!” said Biden, “How did he die? Peacefully I hope?”
“Shot!” I said.
“Oh, poor chap, JFK must have taken it badly!”
“JFK’s also dead!” I said, “Anyway Mr President, just wanted to ask you something!”
“Shoot!” said Biden, “Oh no don’t, I don’t want to go the way Robert went!”
“Why did you bring your troops back so quickly. I’m sure you could have been a bit more practical!”
“Ah Bob, I never wanted to!”
“You didn’t?” I asked incredulously, “But they’ve all left and Afghanistan is now in the hands of the Taliban. Did the Vice-President give the orders? She does seem like a woman who likes doing her own thing!”
“Nah! Nah! Can’t blame Komaula!”
“It’s Kamala!” I said.
“You mean they’ve changed my VP?”
“No, it’s pronounced Kamala!”
“Whatever, she’s not to blame!”
“Then who?” I asked, knowing I was going to get a scoop.
“Well you know, I keep forgetting to put my dentures on when I come to the Oval room!”
“It happens!” I said.
“Yeah and at 79, you need them just to be understood!” said the President.
“So, you forgot to put them on while coming up!” I said impatiently.
“Yeah, and the missus, she be cleaning the bed and it went with the sheets to the laundry and she got a lil’ perturbed!”
“Your dentures went to the laundry!” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah, you seem to know ‘bout such things, you also wear them Bob?”
“Not yet!” I said, “Then what happened Mr President.
“Well, she picked up the phone and called me in the Oval office and asked what she should do and just then this Defense Secretary of mine Lloyd Austin, he calls me, and he asks, ‘What shall I do with the soldiers in Afghanistan Joe?’ You know Bob at my age, I just mixed up both the phones and shouted into his, “Bring em back..!”
Ah well, it’s good to know it’s not the President’s fault, even as he whispered to me, “I ‘haven’t got them dentures back yet Bob ..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com   

Recent Posts

Sudden Death!!!!!
apicture Robert Clements
02 Feb 2026
India's "steel frame" had long rusted into a rigid Babu raj—colonial in instinct, beholden to its master, rule-obsessed, and distant from citizens. Red tape has always trumped service, accountability
apicture Pachu Menon
02 Feb 2026
Dalit - Bahujan Poems (Series)
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
02 Feb 2026
India's labour market mirrors the ILO's warning in its latest report. Unemployment may look stable, but the work is informal, insecure and poor. Demography creates jobs, not dignity. Youth, women and
apicture Jose Vattakuzhy
02 Feb 2026
By staying the UGC's Equity Regulations, the Supreme Court has frozen one of the few institutional checks on caste discrimination in higher education. In the name of social harmony, ground realities w
apicture Joseph Maliakan
02 Feb 2026
After Christmas 2025 saw Christians "lynched" across India, Parliament's silence on escalating attacks against Christians is deafening. The violence is in plain view, yet scrutiny is procedural and ev
apicture John Dayal
02 Feb 2026
Kerala's social harmony and democratic culture are ill-served by the BJP's entry tactics: communal polarisation, social media fearmongering, symbolic awards, and cynical alliances. Wherever this model
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
02 Feb 2026
On Republic Day, a district magistrate banned meat in the tribal district of Koraput, mistaking personal belief for constitutional authority. Nowadays, even food has become nationalistic. Freedom has
apicture A. J. Philip
02 Feb 2026
The Quit India campaign was ruthlessly crushed by the British Government, swiftly responding with mass detentions. Over 100,000 arrests were made, mass fines were levied, and demonstrators were subjec
apicture G Ramachandram
02 Feb 2026
The courtroom chuckled.
apicture Robert Clements
26 Jan 2026