hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Bring ‘Em Back..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
30 Aug 2021

Most everyone the world over are wondering why Biden was in such a hurry to bring his American troops back, and since I make it a point whenever I’m in Washington, to get myself photographed outside the White House, I thought I’d take a chance and make a call to Biden, with the hope he’d recognize me from all the pics the secret service must have taken of me.
“Hi President!” I said cheerily, and if it wasn’t good ole Biden recognizing a much photographed me as he replied, “Hi Bob, I recognized you..”
“From the pics outside the White House,” I completed.
“White House? Nah,” said Biden sounding puzzled, “Aren’t you JFK’s brother?”
“Hey that’s another Robert,” I said easy like, “and he’s dead!”
“Sorry to hear that!” said Biden, “How did he die? Peacefully I hope?”
“Shot!” I said.
“Oh, poor chap, JFK must have taken it badly!”
“JFK’s also dead!” I said, “Anyway Mr President, just wanted to ask you something!”
“Shoot!” said Biden, “Oh no don’t, I don’t want to go the way Robert went!”
“Why did you bring your troops back so quickly. I’m sure you could have been a bit more practical!”
“Ah Bob, I never wanted to!”
“You didn’t?” I asked incredulously, “But they’ve all left and Afghanistan is now in the hands of the Taliban. Did the Vice-President give the orders? She does seem like a woman who likes doing her own thing!”
“Nah! Nah! Can’t blame Komaula!”
“It’s Kamala!” I said.
“You mean they’ve changed my VP?”
“No, it’s pronounced Kamala!”
“Whatever, she’s not to blame!”
“Then who?” I asked, knowing I was going to get a scoop.
“Well you know, I keep forgetting to put my dentures on when I come to the Oval room!”
“It happens!” I said.
“Yeah and at 79, you need them just to be understood!” said the President.
“So, you forgot to put them on while coming up!” I said impatiently.
“Yeah, and the missus, she be cleaning the bed and it went with the sheets to the laundry and she got a lil’ perturbed!”
“Your dentures went to the laundry!” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah, you seem to know ‘bout such things, you also wear them Bob?”
“Not yet!” I said, “Then what happened Mr President.
“Well, she picked up the phone and called me in the Oval office and asked what she should do and just then this Defense Secretary of mine Lloyd Austin, he calls me, and he asks, ‘What shall I do with the soldiers in Afghanistan Joe?’ You know Bob at my age, I just mixed up both the phones and shouted into his, “Bring em back..!”
Ah well, it’s good to know it’s not the President’s fault, even as he whispered to me, “I ‘haven’t got them dentures back yet Bob ..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com   

Recent Posts

You may be supremely happy that your Freedom of Religion Bill has received the President's assent and has now come into force in Maharashtra. But there is an irony that you may not have noticed.
apicture A. J. Philip
31 Aug 2026
India's children are discovering the power of protest. Their demands are modest. Safe classrooms, clean water, toilets, teachers and dignity. If governments silence those who expose these failures rat
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
31 Aug 2026
Gonsalves was born on April 5, 1954, in Munnar, nestled in the Western Ghats in Idukki District of Kerala, into a prominent Anglo-Indian family from Pallippuram in Kochi's Vypin. He was the eldest son
apicture Renjith Leen
31 Aug 2026
A "church-free Odisha" must not become a cause for fear or retaliation. Christians must respond with truth, courage and peace, remembering that our strongest witness is faithful service: building brid
apicture Archbishop John Barwa, SVD
31 Aug 2026
Vande Mataram once united Indians against colonialism. Its appropriation today seeks to turn a shared national symbol into a test of Hindu nationalism and patriotism, diverting attention from governan
apicture Oliver D'Souza
31 Aug 2026
Recent cases of infants abandoned in Haryana, Karnataka and Jharkhand expose a legal system built for children who can speak, not infants who cannot. Strict criminal penalties for abandonment push par
apicture Vidyadhar Prabhudesai
31 Aug 2026
The smartphone may be the millstone of our age: a pocket-sized idol that promises connection but breeds distraction. When we surrender ourselves to its endless pull, children learn to imitate us. True
apicture Fr. Anil Prakash D'Souza, OP
31 Aug 2026
Dolly's faith was heard not only in gospel songs but also in her generosity. Through her Imagination Library, she placed millions of books into the hands of children. She did not merely sing about lov
apicture Robert Clements
31 Aug 2026
A democracy must distinguish between an armed insurgent and a questioning citizen. Calling critics, students, academics or activists "Dimaagi Naxals" is unacceptable. Strength lies not in silencing di
apicture Dr Martin Valiyaparambil VC
24 Aug 2026
As I watched, I could not help remembering the interview I did with your father, NKP Salve, for Jain TV in the 1990s. Goswami, I presume, was then still "studying for some time in a Jesuit-run school,
apicture A. J. Philip
24 Aug 2026