hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Chief Guest Boris…!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
07 Dec 2020

Many world leaders and people across the globe are wondering why dear Boris from Merry England’s been chosen India’s Republic Day chief guest. A tabloid in London interviewed him, and found he was blown over by the invitation, “It’s not every day one gets an invitation to visit our colonies!” said Boris, sweeping back his unruly hair, “I guess Lizzy’s too old to check on her subjects so they’re inviting me!”

“Sir, India is not one of our colonies anymore, and not been for the past seventy years or more!” said the reporter.
“Oh Blimey! I must strike that out of my speech!” said Boris as he searched his pocket for the paper he’d written his speech on, to deliver on the ramparts of the Red Fort, “Could it be because of my hair?”
“Your hair sir?” asked the reporter a bit surprised.
“Yeah, it’s rather windy in Delhi in January, and maybe they chose someone who wasn’t bothered about which way the wind tossed it!” chuckled Boris.
“That could be a valid reason Mr Prime Minister!” said the reporter respectfully, as he wrote down the PMs comments dutifully, “But I’m sure there must be more a reason than just your hair!”
“You think so?” asked the English PM hesitantly?
“I don’t know sir, I’m only asking? Though we were all wondering whether it has to do with the vaccine?”
“Vaccine?” asked Boris.
“Yes sir, didn’t you announce to the world today, you are the first country to start vaccinating everybody?” asked the reporter.
“Yes!” said Boris squaring his shoulders, “We are going to show the world, that Britain leads the way again!”
“That Mr Prime Minister, could be the reason them Indians are calling you sir!”
“Ah they want to give me an award? They give a lot of awards I heard, and my trophy shelf desperately needs one!”
“No sir!”
“No? You don’t think they want to give me some award or other?”
“No sir!”
“So dammit, what could be the reason?” asked Boris as he saw visions of the award on his mantelpiece fading away, “Why else would they call me as their chief guest, there in front of all the cameras with all the world to see me!”
“Exactly sir!”
“Exactly what?”
“There in front of the cameras with all the world to see! They want to examine you sir, to see how the vaccine has worked on you! Whether you’ve grown a tail, lost your hair, hands trembling, voice quivering! You’re their vaccine guinea pig for the whole country to watch sir! After that they’ll decide which vaccine to order!”
That night as Boris felt his hair for the tenth time, his live-in partner Carrie asked, “What you doing Boris, you’re acting as if you’re hair is fallin’ off?”
Boris looked at her with haunted eyes..!


Recent Posts

Modi does not have the magnanimity to admit that whatever progress India has achieved is the result of the work done by the people of India
apicture A. J. Philip
27 Mar 2023
Over the last few weeks, we have been reading a lot about the US banking system. The Silicon Valley Bank (SVB), which was the 16th largest bank in the US
apicture Jaswant Kaur
27 Mar 2023
The Supreme Court while hearing a matter, on March 15, regarding the action of the Maharashtra Governor in ordering a floor test in the wake of the alleged Shiv Sena split
apicture Joseph Maliakan
27 Mar 2023
This India belongs to all of us. The controversy about who is real Indian is fallacious. It can only stoke hatred, division, and inhumanity.
apicture P. A. Chacko
27 Mar 2023
The Supreme Court of India has come out with a landmark verdict in the following words: “Un-satiated greed for wealth has facilitated corruption to develop, like cancer
apicture Dr. M. D. Thomas
27 Mar 2023
“Hi Buddy”, I said to my friend, whom I was meeting after a long time. “Where have you been, and what have you been up to, these years?
apicture Bishop Alex Dias
27 Mar 2023
As I read the news of his gentle departure at the ripe age of 101, I recall Sadhu Ittiyavirah with love and reverence.
apicture J. Prasant Palakkappillil
27 Mar 2023
The manner in which a 59-year-old senior cardiologist was assaulted by a patient’s family members in a Kozhikode hospital this March 5
apicture Aarti
27 Mar 2023
God the Father, in creatng each and every one of us and conferring upon us different graces and blessings, has implanted in us seeds of gifts and talents of different kinds.
apicture Patrick Crasta
27 Mar 2023
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827), German music composer and one of the top world musicians
apicture P. A. Joseph
27 Mar 2023