hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Exit Polls..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
16 Nov 2020

“Mama!”
“Yes my son?”
“The exit polls said, I and that thirty one year old boy would win in Bihar!”
“I know my son, but they were wrong! On top of it you lost quite miserably!”
“But the exit polls did not say that! I think we should make the exit polls official when we come back to power!”
“Official my son?”
“Yes mama! Only exit polls, no other polls!”
“But son, to have exit polls, we have to have real polls! Only as the voter leaves after casting his vote, he or she reveal who they voted for! They might have lied to the person gathering the material outside!”
“So, mama, that’s why making the exit polls official will help. If I’m standing outside the polling station and they all tell me they’ve voted for me, then that will be taken as the official vote and not what they pressed their finger on, inside! Let me tell this to Singh Uncle!”
“Singh Uncle?”
“Yes mama, you know how it was! We made the decisions and Singh Uncle announced it! So now we tell Sigh Uncle to announce to the world, that only Exit Polls matter!”
“But my son..”
“Mama this is the greatest bit of legislation ever made in the last fifty years or so! Maybe the best ever since the Freedom Movement! In fact, we can call this the Exit Movement!”
“The Exit Movement?”
“Yes mama, do you like my idea? You know how my ideas come one after the other…”
“But my son..”
“And mama, we could make this a worldwide movement. We could tell Uncle Giuseppe when you visit him next! And even Uncle Sergio!”
“Mama Mia, who are all these new uncles you are bringing into our family?”
“Why the Prime Minister and President of your country Italy, mama! How happy they will be to have such a brilliant idea given to them, from their little nipote, no more polls, only exit polls! They might give us an Italian citizenship again!”
“Son…”
“Yes mother?”
“That is the problem!”
“What mother?”
“Your exit problem!”
“There’s a problem?”
“Yes my son, it is not the polls, or the Exit polls that is creating the problem of us losing all the elections, it is your Exit after every Poll, that is causing all the problems for our party! Instead of standing and fighting like a man every time you are beaten, you my son make a quick exit..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com   
 

Recent Posts

Close at the heel of our other neighbours, Nepal's journey has swung between hope and betrayal. The monarchy fell, the republic faltered, and now its youth demand dignity, justice, and a future free f
apicture A. J. Philip
15 Sep 2025
The recent Vice-Presidential election has exposed deep cracks in India's democracy. Cross-voting, intimidation, abstentions, and invalid ballots have raised serious doubts. It ultimately begs the ques
apicture M L Satyan
15 Sep 2025
September 11 carries memories of violence and division, but also of Gandhi's Satyagraha and Vivekananda's call to end fanaticism. In a world scarred by war, injustice, and hate, 9/11 must challenge us
apicture Cedric Prakash
15 Sep 2025
India may soon become the world's third-largest economy, but its low per capita income, unmitigated inequality, weak healthcare, and fragile education system reveal a different truth. GDP milestones a
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
15 Sep 2025
Modi's long-delayed visit to Manipur are mere optics. After two years of silence amid ethnic cleansing, displacement, and inhumanity by the Meiteis, what peace, protection of minorities, and restorati
apicture Dr Manoj Kumar Mishra
15 Sep 2025
Umar Khalid, the Jawaharlal Nehru University scholar who has spent more than five years in jail, on Thursday, September 11, told a Delhi court that the larger Conspiracy case in connection with the 20
apicture Joseph Maliakan
15 Sep 2025
Looking back at the 100 years of Medical Mission Sisters, there was a pioneering spirit to begin health care facilities for the less privileged, openness to look at themselves critically to make their
apicture Sr. Mary Pullattu, MMS
15 Sep 2025
Though declared a secular republic in 2008, the nation's legal and cultural frameworks remain steeped in Hindu-majority sentiment. Nepal's National Penal Code of 2017 criminalises religious conversion
apicture CM Paul
15 Sep 2025
To be a "Carmelite on the street" is to unite deep prayer with public courage. We must build interior castles yet opening their gates, carrying contemplation into classrooms, farms, protests, and parl
apicture Gisel Erumachadathu, ASI
15 Sep 2025
In today's India, more than flyovers or metros, what we desperately need are bridges. Bridges between communities. Bridges between faiths. Bridges strong enough to carry us into the future without col
apicture Robert Clements
15 Sep 2025