hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Exit Polls..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
16 Nov 2020

“Mama!”
“Yes my son?”
“The exit polls said, I and that thirty one year old boy would win in Bihar!”
“I know my son, but they were wrong! On top of it you lost quite miserably!”
“But the exit polls did not say that! I think we should make the exit polls official when we come back to power!”
“Official my son?”
“Yes mama! Only exit polls, no other polls!”
“But son, to have exit polls, we have to have real polls! Only as the voter leaves after casting his vote, he or she reveal who they voted for! They might have lied to the person gathering the material outside!”
“So, mama, that’s why making the exit polls official will help. If I’m standing outside the polling station and they all tell me they’ve voted for me, then that will be taken as the official vote and not what they pressed their finger on, inside! Let me tell this to Singh Uncle!”
“Singh Uncle?”
“Yes mama, you know how it was! We made the decisions and Singh Uncle announced it! So now we tell Sigh Uncle to announce to the world, that only Exit Polls matter!”
“But my son..”
“Mama this is the greatest bit of legislation ever made in the last fifty years or so! Maybe the best ever since the Freedom Movement! In fact, we can call this the Exit Movement!”
“The Exit Movement?”
“Yes mama, do you like my idea? You know how my ideas come one after the other…”
“But my son..”
“And mama, we could make this a worldwide movement. We could tell Uncle Giuseppe when you visit him next! And even Uncle Sergio!”
“Mama Mia, who are all these new uncles you are bringing into our family?”
“Why the Prime Minister and President of your country Italy, mama! How happy they will be to have such a brilliant idea given to them, from their little nipote, no more polls, only exit polls! They might give us an Italian citizenship again!”
“Son…”
“Yes mother?”
“That is the problem!”
“What mother?”
“Your exit problem!”
“There’s a problem?”
“Yes my son, it is not the polls, or the Exit polls that is creating the problem of us losing all the elections, it is your Exit after every Poll, that is causing all the problems for our party! Instead of standing and fighting like a man every time you are beaten, you my son make a quick exit..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com   
 

Recent Posts

On April 9, I was in Karnal as a resource person at the 2026 Delhi Province Assembly of the Indian Missionary Society (IMS), an indigenous order of the Catholic Church. One thing that attracted me to
apicture A. J. Philip
13 Apr 2026
The proposed FCRA Amendment Bill, 2026, has sparked fears that expanded state powers to seize NGO assets may bypass constitutional safeguards, disproportionately affect minority institutions, and shri
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
13 Apr 2026
A comforting myth of Congress–Christian affinity masks a harder truth: when justice required administrative fixes, the state acted; when it demanded constitutional courage for Dalit Christians, it hes
apicture John Dayal
13 Apr 2026
The Supreme Court of India affirmed marriage as a partnership of equals, ruling that a wife's refusal to perform chores is not cruelty. By declaring "wife is a life partner, not a maid," it reinforces
apicture Jessy Kurian
13 Apr 2026
Public Interest Litigation transformed access to justice in India, empowering courts to defend the marginalised. As calls to curb it emerge, the debate centres on balancing concerns about misuse with
apicture Joseph Maliakan
13 Apr 2026
Amid the fallout from the Iran war, India's LPG shortage exposes a widening gap between official assurances and lived reality—fuel scarcity, rising prices, and migrant distress reveal a fragile energy
apicture Frank Krishner
13 Apr 2026
The Strait of Hormuz remains a volatile global lifeline, where Iran's "Hormuz Gambit" leverages geography to wield outsized influence—threatening energy flows, unsettling markets, and forcing major po
apicture Fr John Felix Raj & Dr Sovik Mukherjee
13 Apr 2026
In the muddy piece of a Hindu land, Where caste was stitched into human skin, And untouchability carried chains heavier than iron, A child was born beneath a fractured sky Not to inherit the Hindu
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
13 Apr 2026
Amid escalating Middle East conflicts, petrodollar power and Zionist geopolitics frame a world gripped by conflict, moral crisis, and competing national visions. Unchecked ambition, ideological absolu
apicture Peter Fernandes
13 Apr 2026
nobody calls a selfish person aunty with affection. That title, in our country at least, comes with invisible expectations. To care. To guide. To smile even when the knees protest.
apicture Robert Clements
13 Apr 2026