hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Feel Good Headlines..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
26 Oct 2020

“Economy at Doorstep of Recovery, says RBI guv” the headlines in today’s paper said and immediately felt a sense of deep peace settling over me. I was startled out of my restful repose by the clanging of my doorbell. Hastily wearing my mask, I opened the door, to see two men in business suits, “We are from an advertising agency!” they said, “And heard you are a writer!”
“Yes,” I said sheepishly, “That’s nice to know you’ve heard of me!”
“We haven’t!” said one of them sharply, “We had a look at your bank account and found you needed a cash influx, so here goes. We need you to write some powerful, imaginary headlines every day! Anything that will bring a ‘feel good feeling’ to our people!”
“Something like this,” said the other man, looking at the paper I had just read. “We would employ you immediately if you could come up with a sample right away!”
“For whom is this?” I asked.
“We are lobbying for a government contract,” said the first man, “And a storyteller is just what is needed! Come on put your best foot forward, it’s a lucrative job!”
“Well,” I said, “I do need a job, so what about, “A Covid Free India!”
“What’s so great about that?” asked the second man skeptically, and then found the first man jumping up and down, “It’s brilliant!” he shouted, “It means all the tourists in the world will come here, because they believe we have no Covid cases in the country! We will become a tourist hub, and beat the rest of the world’s economy. Brilliant!” he said.
“What about one more, so we can immediately give you an advance cheque,” said the second man, pulling out his cheque book, as I looked at it longingly.
“Well,” I said, suddenly brimming with confidence, “This is a job right up my street, what about, ‘Rosy National Harmony!”
“What’s that?” both asked together.
“Rosy Harmony!” I said brightly, “A country where people of every caste, creed and community, live harmoniously together!”
The two men in business suits looked at each other hesitatingly, then leaned forward as the first one said, “Just as you need the job, we need the job too!”
“But your first one was good, so we’ll take you on immediately!”
“Thanks!” I said, and then looked at the paper lying on the ground, “Don’t tell me most of these headlines have been created by storytellers?”
“Many of them,” said the first man with a smile.
“What about this,” I asked, “The one by the governor, about the economy at the doorstep of recovery?”
“You are a storyteller, you should know,” said the second man, as he made out the cheque and laid out the contract form.
Suddenly I wasn’t peaceful anymore, as I stared at the headlines..!
bobsbanter@gmail.com
 

Recent Posts

In a 1947 address at the University of Allahabad, Jawaharlal Nehru envisioned universities as temples of humanism, reason and truth. Today, shrinking public funding, rampant privatisation, ideological
apicture G Ramachandram
02 Mar 2026
At Rashtrapati Bhavan, replacing Edwin Lutyens' bust with C Rajagopalachari is framed as decolonisation, yet, in truth, it reflects a broader politics of renaming under Narendra Modi—symbolism over su
apicture A. J. Philip
02 Mar 2026
Gen-Z call to make leaders rely on public schools and hospitals underscores youth priorities—education, health care, and jobs—amid rising freebies, inequality, and weak public investment. The Supreme
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
02 Mar 2026
Major Archbishop Raphael Thattil's micro-minority appeal coincides with Kerala's delayed response to the Justice JB Koshy Commission, whose recommendations aim to address internal Christian disparitie
apicture John Dayal
02 Mar 2026
The All India Catholic Union warns of rising violence, legal curbs, and social exclusion targeting Christians across the Northeast, citing unrest in Manipur and enforcement of the Arunachal Pradesh Fr
apicture IC Correspondent
02 Mar 2026
The 2002 Gujarat violence, following the Sabarmati Express tragedy, became one of independent India's darkest chapters. Allegations of state complicity, contested investigations, and enduring survivor
apicture Cedric Prakash
02 Mar 2026
In his second encyclical, Laudato Si': On Care for Our Common Home (2015), Pope Francis offers a sustained moral critique of consumerism, unrestrained economic expansion, and ecological indifference.
apicture Joseph Maliakan
02 Mar 2026
As nuclear powers like the United States and Russia modernise vast arsenals while policing others, critics decry a double standard embedded in the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. The world risks bec
apicture P. A. Chacko
02 Mar 2026
O Jurist Dr. Gregory Stanton, You talked of genocide in ten slow steps I come from a land Where we have been walking those steps For six thousand years Without shoes, Without dignity, Without
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
02 Mar 2026
The robotic dog is not the real problem. It is the comfort we now have with make-believe. It is the applause that follows every convenient explanation.
apicture Robert Clements
02 Mar 2026