hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Feel Good Headlines..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
26 Oct 2020

“Economy at Doorstep of Recovery, says RBI guv” the headlines in today’s paper said and immediately felt a sense of deep peace settling over me. I was startled out of my restful repose by the clanging of my doorbell. Hastily wearing my mask, I opened the door, to see two men in business suits, “We are from an advertising agency!” they said, “And heard you are a writer!”
“Yes,” I said sheepishly, “That’s nice to know you’ve heard of me!”
“We haven’t!” said one of them sharply, “We had a look at your bank account and found you needed a cash influx, so here goes. We need you to write some powerful, imaginary headlines every day! Anything that will bring a ‘feel good feeling’ to our people!”
“Something like this,” said the other man, looking at the paper I had just read. “We would employ you immediately if you could come up with a sample right away!”
“For whom is this?” I asked.
“We are lobbying for a government contract,” said the first man, “And a storyteller is just what is needed! Come on put your best foot forward, it’s a lucrative job!”
“Well,” I said, “I do need a job, so what about, “A Covid Free India!”
“What’s so great about that?” asked the second man skeptically, and then found the first man jumping up and down, “It’s brilliant!” he shouted, “It means all the tourists in the world will come here, because they believe we have no Covid cases in the country! We will become a tourist hub, and beat the rest of the world’s economy. Brilliant!” he said.
“What about one more, so we can immediately give you an advance cheque,” said the second man, pulling out his cheque book, as I looked at it longingly.
“Well,” I said, suddenly brimming with confidence, “This is a job right up my street, what about, ‘Rosy National Harmony!”
“What’s that?” both asked together.
“Rosy Harmony!” I said brightly, “A country where people of every caste, creed and community, live harmoniously together!”
The two men in business suits looked at each other hesitatingly, then leaned forward as the first one said, “Just as you need the job, we need the job too!”
“But your first one was good, so we’ll take you on immediately!”
“Thanks!” I said, and then looked at the paper lying on the ground, “Don’t tell me most of these headlines have been created by storytellers?”
“Many of them,” said the first man with a smile.
“What about this,” I asked, “The one by the governor, about the economy at the doorstep of recovery?”
“You are a storyteller, you should know,” said the second man, as he made out the cheque and laid out the contract form.
Suddenly I wasn’t peaceful anymore, as I stared at the headlines..!
bobsbanter@gmail.com
 

Recent Posts

India's oldest mountain range is facing its most modern threat. As mining expands and legal definitions narrow, the Aravallis' role as a climate shield, water source, and wildlife corridor is being qu
apicture Joseph Jerald SJ
05 Jan 2026
India was built by defying religious orthodoxy, not sanctifying it. Science, education and equality advanced when prejudice was challenged—and regressed whenever cultural nationalism revives the fears
apicture A. J. Philip
05 Jan 2026
The end of a year offers individuals, institutions, nations, and the global community an opportunity for introspection and learning from the experiences of the past twelve months. Life is a blend of s
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
05 Jan 2026
The 2025 Zilla Panchayat elections exposed how local self-governance in Goa has been overtaken by high-stakes party politics. BJP's all-out mobilisation contrasted sharply with the fragmented Oppositi
apicture Pachu Menon
05 Jan 2026
In recent years, Prime Minister Narendra Modi has repeatedly reached out to India's Christian community. On several occasions, especially around Christmas, he has visited churches, hosted gatherings w
apicture Bishop Savio Fernandes
05 Jan 2026
Christmas violence against Christians is diagnostic. It is a stress test of India's constitutional guarantees. Vigilantes policing public celebration with impunity is an attack on civic space.
apicture Oliver D'Souza
05 Jan 2026
Give work to all the hands Give wages to all the families
apicture Prakash Louis
05 Jan 2026
I was born like anyone else. Yet I was never treated like anyone else. The name Pariah was given to me. And its meaning was carved into my skin.
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
05 Jan 2026
While Xi Jinping was at Mahabalipuram admiring Indian art and listening to Modi's 'political wisdom,' the People's Liberation Army was pushing the Chinese frontier in the Galwan Valley. The Chinese sp
apicture Archbp Thomas Menamparampil
05 Jan 2026
The oath is complete. Applause follows. And as the fake fog of falsehood settles over the nation once again, truth is the victim, as it has been the last ten years...
apicture Robert Clements
05 Jan 2026