hidden image

Bob's Banter by Robert Clements Lizzy and Our Own Throne Sitters..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
24 Oct 2022

Poor Liz Truss, just forty-five days on the PM’s throne and she was out! In India too, the chief minister’s throne has become so temporary that political leaders now occupy just a portion of the royal chair as if they are wondering if they have any right to sit on it. I thought I’d do an interview with one of them on the same subject:

"Chief Minister sahib, what gives you the right to sit on your throne?"

"Right?"

"Yes sir, right!"

"Guards beat this man up!"

"You should beat me up yourself sir!"

"Why should I dirty my hands?"

"Aha therein lies the problem Mr Thronesitter!"

"What problem?"

"That you won't dirty your hands! May I tell a story sir?"

"Entertain me!" says the uncomfortable political leader on his throne.

"A poor villager was coming home from the town market with his cart laden with purchases for his family. Suddenly his old horse slipped and the whole cart slid into a swamp. The villager cried out for help and a rich man who was also returning from town, ordered his horsemen to help. So, his men pulled and pushed and tried their best, they even tried to unload the battered cart but it just sank farther.

Finally, the rich man got down from his own grand carriage and pushed himself and got the cart back onto firm ground!"

"Silly fellow!" mutters the leader.

"Oh no sir! Many years later this rich man died and at the entrance of the pearly gates he was stopped. "What good have you done on earth?" asked the keeper of the heavenly gates. "Ah well," said the man and tried to recount the few times he had helped people, but the scales weighed heavily in favour of his bad deeds. Finally, an angel of mercy walked in and put something on the scales, immediately the scales tipped in favour of the rich man entering heaven.

"What did he put?" asks the curious leader looking closely at me.

"A bit of dirt from the rich man which had got stuck onto him while pushing the poor man's cart!"

"So, what are you trying to say?" asks the leader, looking more uncomfortable on his throne.

"That you get down from your throne sir, and work for the people who have elected you, that you feel the sweat and grime and filth of your constituents! Shed tears as you see their hardship and let them feel your strength toiling for them!"

"Are you mad?"

"Then, and then only sir will you find the throne a perfect fit for you, for you have earned the right to sit on it!"

"Guards throw this man out!"

"No sir, why don't you do so yourself?"

"And dirty my hands?"

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

As China powers ahead with trillion-dollar trade surpluses and futuristic innovation, India drifts into culture wars and symbolic debates. Shrinking parliamentary scrutiny and political distraction ar
apicture A. J. Philip
15 Dec 2025
The rapacity for tribal land and violation of tribal autonomy are being masked by the Hindutva forces as a battle for personhood. Adivasi Christians face assaults, expulsions, and judicial indifferenc
apicture John Dayal
15 Dec 2025
The IndiGo meltdown exposes the more profound crises developing in India. We are drifting toward monopoly economics, where regulators just blink, corporations bully, and citizens pay. If essential sec
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
15 Dec 2025
India's democratic foundations—rooted in rights, modern education and egalitarian ideals—are being reshaped as Hindutva politics elevates duties over freedoms. Modi's rhetoric signals a shift from con
apicture Ram Puniyani
15 Dec 2025
When a woman leads, we expect her to do wonders and that her presence alone will solve the problems she inherits. At the very least, we expect her to understand women's anxieties, respond with empathy
apicture Jaswant Kaur
15 Dec 2025
In the cold, unforgiving silence of the prison cell, Keshav—once defined by his crime—now holds a driver's license, a key to a new life, and a quiet smile. This subtle yet profound transformation is t
apicture CM Paul
15 Dec 2025
As Hindutva leaders rewrite identity and weaponise myth, minorities remain loyal while being vilified—and lakhs of Hindus themselves flee the stifling culture imposed in their name. A nation built on
apicture Thomas Menamparampil
15 Dec 2025
O Sanatan, the walls of your temple ring with my suffering, Not with words, not with deeds, but with each inch of my flesh that has your stain upon it. I am the Pariah, branded at birth, a curse wri
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
15 Dec 2025
This year has shown us that dishonesty walks confidently through the front doors of our institutions. Chanakya's cleverness is praised. Cheating is normalised. Those who take shortcuts are applauded f
apicture Robert Clements
15 Dec 2025
From colonial opium to today's smartphones, India has perfected the art of numbing its youth. While neighbours topple governments through conviction and courage, our fatalism breeds a quietism that su
apicture A. J. Philip
08 Dec 2025