hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Peegates Leave a Stain..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
20 Mar 2023
“True!” I say bitterly, “Very true!” And then silently scream at leaders who boast of us becoming a financially powerful country, but fail to see that culturally we remain the same or worse

With three distasteful incidents of fellow countrymen peeing on their fellow passengers while flying, I should have been a little more prepared before I ventured on my air travel. The wife was the first to wave me goodbye with just one hand, the other carried a parting gift for me. “It’s not eats!” she whispered, “But diapers!”

The security at the airport gate looked at me, then spoke into his phone while looking at me and my diaper packet. I knew intuitively I was a marked man.

“Sir,” said the lady at the counter, scowling, “If you are carrying your certificate with you then you can skip the test! “It’s a mandatory eye test sir, to see whether you can differentiate between a toilet and a passenger!”

“Ofcourse I can,” I said, “You think I’m blind? I can easily make out you are a human being not a toilet!”
The girl at the check-in counter seemed convinced my eyesight was good enough and directed me to proceed. I decided to call my ophthalmologist and congratulate him on keeping my eyes in perfect condition. I pulled out my phone, when I heard a voice next to me saying, “Don’t!”

“Why?” I asked the man next to me in the waiting area.

“That little bit of radiation from your phone could excite your bladder!”

The cabins were dimly lit as the other passengers and I were herded into the aircraft, “Hello!” I said to the American lady next to my seat, who let out a scream on seeing my face, one, which made the pilot and copilot rush out of the cockpit down the aisle and pin me down, “Did he?” asked the co-pilot.

“I’m not sure,” said the lady, touching her seat.

“Look,” I said, trying to get out of the pilot’s firm grasp, “All I said was hello!”

“May I call your wife on your phone?” asked the pilot.

“Sure,” I said, dialing her number and giving the phone to him. “Hello!” said the pilot, “This is the pilot speaking.”

“Is everything alright?” asked my wife, “I hope he is using the diaper I gave him. Please don’t arrest him sir, he’s a good man, and doesn’t normally do things like this!”

 “Why was I targeted?” I yelled in utter dismay as I was offloaded, and I hear actor Satish Shah retort to the racists in Heathrow airport, who had whispered, “how can they afford 1st class?”

“Because we are Indians,” replied Shah, “because we are Indians!”

“True!” I say bitterly, “Very true!” And then silently scream at leaders who boast of us becoming a financially powerful country, but fail to see that culturally we remain the same or worse; jeering in Parliament while women speak, and doing worse up in the air, and now on trains, making us the laughing stock of the world!

Our Peegates are leaving a stain..!




Recent Posts

Historically, forcible arrests without charges have been a tactic employed by governments globally to maintain authoritative control.
apicture Aakash
20 May 2024
Let me delve into history for a moment. The Cold War was a period of intense geopolitical tension and rivalry between the United States and its NATO allies
apicture A. J. Philip
20 May 2024
After BJP's massive victory in the 2014 Lok Sabha elections and the installation of Narendra Modi as the Prime Minister
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
20 May 2024
"J'Accuse….!" which is French for "I accuse…." is a term loaded with history and meaning, used to express indignation at the brutality and injustice
apicture Mathew John
20 May 2024
Christianity is India's third-largest religion, according to the census of 2011, with approximately 27.8 million followers, constituting 2.3% of India's population.
apicture Prof. Emanual Nahar
20 May 2024
"Abki baar 400 Paar" is a terrific catchphrase for an election campaign, but what is the catch? Why 400 paar?
apicture Peter Fernandes
20 May 2024
Dr G. Ramachandram presents a series of reflections on the Indian freedom struggle and the role played by a galaxy of eminent leaders of the country
apicture Joseph M. Dias
20 May 2024
The Bengali newspaper Bartaman's motto, "We will not fear anyone other than God, and we will not become sycophants to anyone
apicture Sacaria Joseph
20 May 2024
There's only one purpose a billboard or hoarding serves; to be noticed!
apicture Robert Clements
20 May 2024
Prime Minister Narendra Modi is so fond of Hindi that he can be called a proponent of the concept of "Hindu, Hindi, Hindustan". But he uses the Urdu word Shehzada
apicture A. J. Philip
13 May 2024