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Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements The Dreaded ‘S’ Word..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
19 Oct 2020
Weekly Magazine In India

And as the nation with a sense of shock finds a state governor deriding a chief minister, calling him ‘secular’ I foresee a situation like this arising: “Ma,” cries a little fellow, as he returns home from school, “Today a boy in class uttered a bad word!”

“Bad word!” screams the mother, “and did the teacher punish him?”

“She made him wash his mouth with soap!”

“Very good,” says the mother, satisfied, “And what exactly did he say? Was it the ‘B’ word?”

“No ma the ‘S’ word!”

“The ‘S’ word!” screams the mother, and marches her son back to school and confronts the teacher, “You think washing a student’s mouth with soap is enough for someone using the ‘S’ word?”

The teacher nods miserably, “I did not want to spoil the boy’s future!” she whispers.

“Anyone who utters the ‘S’ word, has no right for a future in this country!” shouts the mother, “I am going to the police!”

“Ma’am before you do anything drastic, please meet the boy who used the dreaded ‘S’ word?” pleads the teacher, as a little boy walks into the classroom, “I am sorry to have made you so angry!” says the small fellow.

“How dare you utter the ‘S’ word?” shouts the mother, taking a few steps to the little boy, but restrained by the teacher.

“Like I said,” says the little boy, “I am sorry to see you angry, but not sorry for what I said!”

“Call the police!” shouts the mother.

“The police,” says the little fellow showing surprise, “would be arrested for arresting me!”

“This boy should be brought before a court of law!” shrieks the mother.

“The courts of law,” the little fellow tells the two with his arms akimbo, “would be dismantled immediately if they dared punish me!”

“How dare you?” shout the teacher and the mother, “On what authority do you say such nonsense?”

“On the authority of this book,” says the little fellow, opening his schoolbag and taking out the Constitution of India. “The same book which describes India as a Secular, Democratic Republic, which means ma’am that if you call yourself Indian…”

“Of course I am!” says the mother.

“In that case, you have to be what this book describes an Indian to be, ‘secular and democratic!’

“How dare you say the ‘S’ word!” shouts the teacher and the mother together.

“I didn’t” says the little fellow walking away, “Your Constitution just did! And the next time you put soap in my mouth ma’am, it is you who will face the police and the courts, not me, do you know why?”

“Why?” ask the two.

“Because our Constitution is bigger than the police, the courts, your elected representatives and even your governors!” yells the little fellow cocking a snook at the two of them.


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