hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Toughening Foreign Investors..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
14 Nov 2022

A cry I’m finding across our country, from frustrated citizens is, “Repair the potholes!” Along with this pathetic plea, comes the proud shout, “Make in India!” As from our rooftops and in WhatsApp groups we applaud national leaders spending precious time and tax payers money going from country to country wooing their industrialists to open factories, offices and make huge investments in our country.

What they find when they do arrive are narrow, pothole filled roads, filthy streets lined with un-lifted garbage, sprawling slums and pollution.

“Is there some sinister master plan you are following?” I asked a spokesman from the government,

“How is it you call these foreign companies, then give them such terrible facilities?”

“For their own good my friend, for their own good!” said the smiling spokesman who seemed to be all ready to go somewhere with his bags in tow, “We want to toughen these investors in our country!”

“By giving them filth, rubbish and potholes?”

“It worked for you and me didn’t it? Did you grow up in hygienic conditions and sanitized settings?”

“No,” I admitted.

“There you are, I told you!”

“Told me what?” I asked, confused.

“It was the pot holes and dirt that shaped you!”

“Really?”

“It toughened you. You don’t go about with a hanky to your nose like those Americans and Germans and Britishers. You don’t get sick when you drink tap water and pick up a cough from vehicle fumes! See you even have dirt on the seat of your pants.”

“That’s because I slipped on some muck outside.”

“You are a tough Indian, because of the very muck you slipped on today. Now do you understand?”

“That the muck, the pot holes and dirt shaped me?”

“Yes! And we want to do the same to these white collared, suited booted men and women in their swanky designer outfits, Mercedes Benzes and Cadillacs.”

“You want to give them dirt and grime?”

“To make them world beaters like we Indians are. Guess what happens when their fancy cars hit the first pothole? They get a broken shoulder, ha, ha, ha.”

“They then fly off to Shanghai or Hong Kong and open their companies there.”

“We don’t want those.”

“You don’t want them?”

“No, they are the weak. We are looking for those who can fight our hurdles and obstacles and come out winners. We want to make men out of boys. Legends out of heroes! We want the world to think of our country as a ‘strength and character building’ destination! We have plans for other exercises!”

“Planning more potholes?”

“Let’s go farther, no roads at all! No dustbins. Just garbage all over. No buildings, only slums!”

“It’s already becoming like that,” I whispered.

“Aha, our master plan is at work. Goodbye!”

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“Abroad,” smiled the spokesman, “to woo those weak foreign investors to come here and toughen up..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com

 

Recent Posts

You may be supremely happy that your Freedom of Religion Bill has received the President's assent and has now come into force in Maharashtra. But there is an irony that you may not have noticed.
apicture A. J. Philip
31 Aug 2026
India's children are discovering the power of protest. Their demands are modest. Safe classrooms, clean water, toilets, teachers and dignity. If governments silence those who expose these failures rat
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
31 Aug 2026
Gonsalves was born on April 5, 1954, in Munnar, nestled in the Western Ghats in Idukki District of Kerala, into a prominent Anglo-Indian family from Pallippuram in Kochi's Vypin. He was the eldest son
apicture Renjith Leen
31 Aug 2026
A "church-free Odisha" must not become a cause for fear or retaliation. Christians must respond with truth, courage and peace, remembering that our strongest witness is faithful service: building brid
apicture Archbishop John Barwa, SVD
31 Aug 2026
Vande Mataram once united Indians against colonialism. Its appropriation today seeks to turn a shared national symbol into a test of Hindu nationalism and patriotism, diverting attention from governan
apicture Oliver D'Souza
31 Aug 2026
Recent cases of infants abandoned in Haryana, Karnataka and Jharkhand expose a legal system built for children who can speak, not infants who cannot. Strict criminal penalties for abandonment push par
apicture Vidyadhar Prabhudesai
31 Aug 2026
The smartphone may be the millstone of our age: a pocket-sized idol that promises connection but breeds distraction. When we surrender ourselves to its endless pull, children learn to imitate us. True
apicture Fr. Anil Prakash D'Souza, OP
31 Aug 2026
Dolly's faith was heard not only in gospel songs but also in her generosity. Through her Imagination Library, she placed millions of books into the hands of children. She did not merely sing about lov
apicture Robert Clements
31 Aug 2026
A democracy must distinguish between an armed insurgent and a questioning citizen. Calling critics, students, academics or activists "Dimaagi Naxals" is unacceptable. Strength lies not in silencing di
apicture Dr Martin Valiyaparambil VC
24 Aug 2026
As I watched, I could not help remembering the interview I did with your father, NKP Salve, for Jain TV in the 1990s. Goswami, I presume, was then still "studying for some time in a Jesuit-run school,
apicture A. J. Philip
24 Aug 2026