hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements You’re Only A Woman..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
04 Oct 2021

The man who’d just died walked up the steps towards the pearly gates, but a pretty angel stopped him, “Not this way sir!”
“But its written ‘Heavenly Gates’ up there?”
“For those who’ve earned the right to enter!” said the pretty angel leading him away.
“I have!” said the man looking angrily at the angel.
“I don’t think so sir, will you please turn the other way towards the gates of hell!”
“What! Who do you think you are?”
“An angel of the Lord!”
“You’re only a woman!” said the man with disdain.
“So?”
“Shut up!” shouted the man,
“What?”
“I said shut up!”
“And why should I sir?”
“Because you are a woman, even if you are an angel now, and women don’t speak to men like this!” shouted the man outside the gates of heaven.
“That sir,” said the pretty angel, “Is why you are being turned away! Down on earth, you treated women worse than the dogs you kept as pets! Your wife…”
“Has she been complaining?” asked the man.
“Not complaining, but praying everyday that you would change your ways, but with Holy Book in hand, you told her that you were her master and when you felt she wasn’t convinced, you even used your fist…”
“Yes I did..”
“To hit her with! That fist was used more for such purposes than what it was meant for! You remember hitting her, don’t you sir?”
“She used to disobey me. Sometimes I came home unexpectedly to surprise her, and found her asleep!”
“Poor, tired woman? She would have won more souls through the life she led, than the words you spoke! Did you ever hear of God thrashing men even after they sinned?”
“We are men!”
“Ah, yes I forgot, but all the more reason, you may find heaven a difficult place to live in, here men and women are equal!”
“I can adjust to that!”
“Too late sir! Too late! All are equal!”
And from the Gates of Heaven, a woman’s voice cried, “It is my husband, let him in!”
“That’s your wife!” said the pretty angel, “Even now she loves you! But she deserves better than spending eternity with a man who thought she was his slave! Ah there comes your friend the devil, to take you, where you wife beating, male chauvinistic brutes belong; in Hell..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

Communal hatred, seeded by colonial divide-and-rule and revived by modern majoritarianism, is corroding India's syncretic culture. Yet acts of everyday courage remind us that constitutional values and
apicture Ram Puniyani
16 Feb 2026
What appears as cultural homage is, in fact, political signalling. By elevating Vande Mataram symbolism over inclusion, the state is diminishing the national anthem, unsettling hard-won consensus, and
apicture A. J. Philip
16 Feb 2026
States are increasingly becoming laboratories of hate; the experiment will ultimately consume the nation itself. The choice before India is stark: reaffirm constitutional citizenship, or allow adminis
apicture John Dayal
16 Feb 2026
Mamata Banerjee's personal appearance before the Supreme Court of India has transformed a procedural dispute over SIR into a constitutional warning—questioning whether institutions meant to safeguard
apicture Oliver D'Souza
16 Feb 2026
This is a book by two redoubtable Jesuit scholars. Lancy Lobo is currently the Research Director of the Indian Social Institute in New Delhi, while Denzil Fernandes was its former Executive Director.
apicture Chhotebhai
16 Feb 2026
The cry "Why am I poor?" exposes a world where fear of the other, corrupted politics, and dollar-driven power reduce millions to "children of a lesser god." Abundance will coexist with deprivation, an
apicture Peter Fernandes
16 Feb 2026
O Water! There is a facade of democracy. In which caste is appropriated As a religious tool, To strengthen the caste hierarchy For touching their water.
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
16 Feb 2026
From Washington's muscle diplomacy to Hindutva's cultural majoritarianism, a dangerous erosion of values is reshaping global and Indian politics. When power replaces principle and identity overrides j
apicture Thomas Menamparampil
16 Feb 2026
In today's world, governance is not merely about policies. It is about performance. The teleprompter screen must glow. The sentences must glide. The applause must arrive on cue.
apicture Robert Clements
16 Feb 2026
From Godhra to Assam, a once-neutral word has been weaponised to stigmatise, harass, and exclude a section of the people. This is not a linguistic accident but a political design wherein power turns l
apicture A. J. Philip
09 Feb 2026