hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements You’re Only A Woman..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
04 Oct 2021

The man who’d just died walked up the steps towards the pearly gates, but a pretty angel stopped him, “Not this way sir!”
“But its written ‘Heavenly Gates’ up there?”
“For those who’ve earned the right to enter!” said the pretty angel leading him away.
“I have!” said the man looking angrily at the angel.
“I don’t think so sir, will you please turn the other way towards the gates of hell!”
“What! Who do you think you are?”
“An angel of the Lord!”
“You’re only a woman!” said the man with disdain.
“So?”
“Shut up!” shouted the man,
“What?”
“I said shut up!”
“And why should I sir?”
“Because you are a woman, even if you are an angel now, and women don’t speak to men like this!” shouted the man outside the gates of heaven.
“That sir,” said the pretty angel, “Is why you are being turned away! Down on earth, you treated women worse than the dogs you kept as pets! Your wife…”
“Has she been complaining?” asked the man.
“Not complaining, but praying everyday that you would change your ways, but with Holy Book in hand, you told her that you were her master and when you felt she wasn’t convinced, you even used your fist…”
“Yes I did..”
“To hit her with! That fist was used more for such purposes than what it was meant for! You remember hitting her, don’t you sir?”
“She used to disobey me. Sometimes I came home unexpectedly to surprise her, and found her asleep!”
“Poor, tired woman? She would have won more souls through the life she led, than the words you spoke! Did you ever hear of God thrashing men even after they sinned?”
“We are men!”
“Ah, yes I forgot, but all the more reason, you may find heaven a difficult place to live in, here men and women are equal!”
“I can adjust to that!”
“Too late sir! Too late! All are equal!”
And from the Gates of Heaven, a woman’s voice cried, “It is my husband, let him in!”
“That’s your wife!” said the pretty angel, “Even now she loves you! But she deserves better than spending eternity with a man who thought she was his slave! Ah there comes your friend the devil, to take you, where you wife beating, male chauvinistic brutes belong; in Hell..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

Close at the heel of our other neighbours, Nepal's journey has swung between hope and betrayal. The monarchy fell, the republic faltered, and now its youth demand dignity, justice, and a future free f
apicture A. J. Philip
15 Sep 2025
The recent Vice-Presidential election has exposed deep cracks in India's democracy. Cross-voting, intimidation, abstentions, and invalid ballots have raised serious doubts. It ultimately begs the ques
apicture M L Satyan
15 Sep 2025
September 11 carries memories of violence and division, but also of Gandhi's Satyagraha and Vivekananda's call to end fanaticism. In a world scarred by war, injustice, and hate, 9/11 must challenge us
apicture Cedric Prakash
15 Sep 2025
India may soon become the world's third-largest economy, but its low per capita income, unmitigated inequality, weak healthcare, and fragile education system reveal a different truth. GDP milestones a
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
15 Sep 2025
Modi's long-delayed visit to Manipur are mere optics. After two years of silence amid ethnic cleansing, displacement, and inhumanity by the Meiteis, what peace, protection of minorities, and restorati
apicture Dr Manoj Kumar Mishra
15 Sep 2025
Umar Khalid, the Jawaharlal Nehru University scholar who has spent more than five years in jail, on Thursday, September 11, told a Delhi court that the larger Conspiracy case in connection with the 20
apicture Joseph Maliakan
15 Sep 2025
Looking back at the 100 years of Medical Mission Sisters, there was a pioneering spirit to begin health care facilities for the less privileged, openness to look at themselves critically to make their
apicture Sr. Mary Pullattu, MMS
15 Sep 2025
Though declared a secular republic in 2008, the nation's legal and cultural frameworks remain steeped in Hindu-majority sentiment. Nepal's National Penal Code of 2017 criminalises religious conversion
apicture CM Paul
15 Sep 2025
To be a "Carmelite on the street" is to unite deep prayer with public courage. We must build interior castles yet opening their gates, carrying contemplation into classrooms, farms, protests, and parl
apicture Gisel Erumachadathu, ASI
15 Sep 2025
In today's India, more than flyovers or metros, what we desperately need are bridges. Bridges between communities. Bridges between faiths. Bridges strong enough to carry us into the future without col
apicture Robert Clements
15 Sep 2025