hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements You’re Only A Woman..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
04 Oct 2021

The man who’d just died walked up the steps towards the pearly gates, but a pretty angel stopped him, “Not this way sir!”
“But its written ‘Heavenly Gates’ up there?”
“For those who’ve earned the right to enter!” said the pretty angel leading him away.
“I have!” said the man looking angrily at the angel.
“I don’t think so sir, will you please turn the other way towards the gates of hell!”
“What! Who do you think you are?”
“An angel of the Lord!”
“You’re only a woman!” said the man with disdain.
“So?”
“Shut up!” shouted the man,
“What?”
“I said shut up!”
“And why should I sir?”
“Because you are a woman, even if you are an angel now, and women don’t speak to men like this!” shouted the man outside the gates of heaven.
“That sir,” said the pretty angel, “Is why you are being turned away! Down on earth, you treated women worse than the dogs you kept as pets! Your wife…”
“Has she been complaining?” asked the man.
“Not complaining, but praying everyday that you would change your ways, but with Holy Book in hand, you told her that you were her master and when you felt she wasn’t convinced, you even used your fist…”
“Yes I did..”
“To hit her with! That fist was used more for such purposes than what it was meant for! You remember hitting her, don’t you sir?”
“She used to disobey me. Sometimes I came home unexpectedly to surprise her, and found her asleep!”
“Poor, tired woman? She would have won more souls through the life she led, than the words you spoke! Did you ever hear of God thrashing men even after they sinned?”
“We are men!”
“Ah, yes I forgot, but all the more reason, you may find heaven a difficult place to live in, here men and women are equal!”
“I can adjust to that!”
“Too late sir! Too late! All are equal!”
And from the Gates of Heaven, a woman’s voice cried, “It is my husband, let him in!”
“That’s your wife!” said the pretty angel, “Even now she loves you! But she deserves better than spending eternity with a man who thought she was his slave! Ah there comes your friend the devil, to take you, where you wife beating, male chauvinistic brutes belong; in Hell..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

India's oldest mountain range is facing its most modern threat. As mining expands and legal definitions narrow, the Aravallis' role as a climate shield, water source, and wildlife corridor is being qu
apicture Joseph Jerald SJ
05 Jan 2026
India was built by defying religious orthodoxy, not sanctifying it. Science, education and equality advanced when prejudice was challenged—and regressed whenever cultural nationalism revives the fears
apicture A. J. Philip
05 Jan 2026
The end of a year offers individuals, institutions, nations, and the global community an opportunity for introspection and learning from the experiences of the past twelve months. Life is a blend of s
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
05 Jan 2026
The 2025 Zilla Panchayat elections exposed how local self-governance in Goa has been overtaken by high-stakes party politics. BJP's all-out mobilisation contrasted sharply with the fragmented Oppositi
apicture Pachu Menon
05 Jan 2026
In recent years, Prime Minister Narendra Modi has repeatedly reached out to India's Christian community. On several occasions, especially around Christmas, he has visited churches, hosted gatherings w
apicture Bishop Savio Fernandes
05 Jan 2026
Christmas violence against Christians is diagnostic. It is a stress test of India's constitutional guarantees. Vigilantes policing public celebration with impunity is an attack on civic space.
apicture Oliver D'Souza
05 Jan 2026
Give work to all the hands Give wages to all the families
apicture Prakash Louis
05 Jan 2026
I was born like anyone else. Yet I was never treated like anyone else. The name Pariah was given to me. And its meaning was carved into my skin.
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
05 Jan 2026
While Xi Jinping was at Mahabalipuram admiring Indian art and listening to Modi's 'political wisdom,' the People's Liberation Army was pushing the Chinese frontier in the Galwan Valley. The Chinese sp
apicture Archbp Thomas Menamparampil
05 Jan 2026
The oath is complete. Applause follows. And as the fake fog of falsehood settles over the nation once again, truth is the victim, as it has been the last ten years...
apicture Robert Clements
05 Jan 2026