hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements You’re Only A Woman..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
04 Oct 2021

The man who’d just died walked up the steps towards the pearly gates, but a pretty angel stopped him, “Not this way sir!”
“But its written ‘Heavenly Gates’ up there?”
“For those who’ve earned the right to enter!” said the pretty angel leading him away.
“I have!” said the man looking angrily at the angel.
“I don’t think so sir, will you please turn the other way towards the gates of hell!”
“What! Who do you think you are?”
“An angel of the Lord!”
“You’re only a woman!” said the man with disdain.
“So?”
“Shut up!” shouted the man,
“What?”
“I said shut up!”
“And why should I sir?”
“Because you are a woman, even if you are an angel now, and women don’t speak to men like this!” shouted the man outside the gates of heaven.
“That sir,” said the pretty angel, “Is why you are being turned away! Down on earth, you treated women worse than the dogs you kept as pets! Your wife…”
“Has she been complaining?” asked the man.
“Not complaining, but praying everyday that you would change your ways, but with Holy Book in hand, you told her that you were her master and when you felt she wasn’t convinced, you even used your fist…”
“Yes I did..”
“To hit her with! That fist was used more for such purposes than what it was meant for! You remember hitting her, don’t you sir?”
“She used to disobey me. Sometimes I came home unexpectedly to surprise her, and found her asleep!”
“Poor, tired woman? She would have won more souls through the life she led, than the words you spoke! Did you ever hear of God thrashing men even after they sinned?”
“We are men!”
“Ah, yes I forgot, but all the more reason, you may find heaven a difficult place to live in, here men and women are equal!”
“I can adjust to that!”
“Too late sir! Too late! All are equal!”
And from the Gates of Heaven, a woman’s voice cried, “It is my husband, let him in!”
“That’s your wife!” said the pretty angel, “Even now she loves you! But she deserves better than spending eternity with a man who thought she was his slave! Ah there comes your friend the devil, to take you, where you wife beating, male chauvinistic brutes belong; in Hell..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

India's ambitious overhaul of its labour law architecture—by consolidating 29 existing laws into four comprehensive Labour Codes—is projected as a landmark reform intended to simplify compliance, prom
apicture Jose Vattakuzhy
01 Dec 2025
Across India, workers and unions are resisting labour codes that dismantle decades of hard-won rights. As corporate elites are celebrated, labourers face exclusion, precarity and silencing. The battle
apicture Prakash Louis
01 Dec 2025
I have always considered myself a temple-goer. That description may seem inadequate, for my journeys have taken me from the southern tip of the subcontinent to the Himalayan foothills, tracing not mer
apicture A. J. Philip
01 Dec 2025
Sixteen BLO deaths in three weeks expose the brutal human cost of an impossible SIR timeline. As overworked field staff collapse under pressure, the Election Commission denies responsibility, and an a
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
01 Dec 2025
Two Jesuit moments, a century apart, reveal a stark contrast: courage that welcomed Gandhi, and caution that silenced a Stan Swamy lecture. As we mark the feast of St. Xavier, we are asked not to judg
apicture Fr. Sebastian James, SJ
01 Dec 2025
O Father of India, on this sacred day, Not in prayer of sorrow do we gather, For your light is still dancing in our hearts. A fire that never dies, never ends.
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
01 Dec 2025
As 2025 draws to a close, the Constitution's guarantees feel symbolic to millions. With courts, policing, voter rolls and land rights tilting in one direction, religious minorities confront a future w
apicture John Dayal
01 Dec 2025
Beneath the speeches of Constitution Day lies a nation in peril. Rights are eroded, institutions compromised, minorities targeted, and democracy is hollowed out. Ambedkar's warnings echo today, demand
apicture Cedric Prakash
01 Dec 2025
Aeschylus, the Greek tragedian, wanted to know how he was destined to die. Hence, he consulted a fortune teller who told him the truth and nothing but the truth. "You would meet your death under a fal
apicture P. Raja
01 Dec 2025
Picture two engines joined together. Both powerful, both capable of pulling a nation forward. But one engine pulls east and the other west. They strain. They struggle. And the train goes nowhere.
apicture Robert Clements
01 Dec 2025