hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements You’re Only A Woman..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
04 Oct 2021

The man who’d just died walked up the steps towards the pearly gates, but a pretty angel stopped him, “Not this way sir!”
“But its written ‘Heavenly Gates’ up there?”
“For those who’ve earned the right to enter!” said the pretty angel leading him away.
“I have!” said the man looking angrily at the angel.
“I don’t think so sir, will you please turn the other way towards the gates of hell!”
“What! Who do you think you are?”
“An angel of the Lord!”
“You’re only a woman!” said the man with disdain.
“So?”
“Shut up!” shouted the man,
“What?”
“I said shut up!”
“And why should I sir?”
“Because you are a woman, even if you are an angel now, and women don’t speak to men like this!” shouted the man outside the gates of heaven.
“That sir,” said the pretty angel, “Is why you are being turned away! Down on earth, you treated women worse than the dogs you kept as pets! Your wife…”
“Has she been complaining?” asked the man.
“Not complaining, but praying everyday that you would change your ways, but with Holy Book in hand, you told her that you were her master and when you felt she wasn’t convinced, you even used your fist…”
“Yes I did..”
“To hit her with! That fist was used more for such purposes than what it was meant for! You remember hitting her, don’t you sir?”
“She used to disobey me. Sometimes I came home unexpectedly to surprise her, and found her asleep!”
“Poor, tired woman? She would have won more souls through the life she led, than the words you spoke! Did you ever hear of God thrashing men even after they sinned?”
“We are men!”
“Ah, yes I forgot, but all the more reason, you may find heaven a difficult place to live in, here men and women are equal!”
“I can adjust to that!”
“Too late sir! Too late! All are equal!”
And from the Gates of Heaven, a woman’s voice cried, “It is my husband, let him in!”
“That’s your wife!” said the pretty angel, “Even now she loves you! But she deserves better than spending eternity with a man who thought she was his slave! Ah there comes your friend the devil, to take you, where you wife beating, male chauvinistic brutes belong; in Hell..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

GRAMG replaces a constitutional right with a capped dole. It seeks to shift costs to poorer states, punish those states where the BJP doesn't rule, centralise power in Delhi, and convert demand-driven
apicture Joseph Maliakan
22 Dec 2025
The Modi government, even in its 12th year, is on a name-changing spree, including that of MGNREGA, trying to erase the legacy of the Congress-era projects.
apicture Dr Suresh Mathew
22 Dec 2025
Gandhi is garlanded, branded and renamed into oblivion, while his ideas are quietly dismantled. Hindutva venerates his image abroad and empties his legacy at home. It is consistently replacing moral c
apicture A. J. Philip
22 Dec 2025
Christmas is celebrated everywhere, sold endlessly, and consumed noisily—yet its soul is simple: God in every human being. Beyond markets, rituals and identities, Christmas calls us to choose humanity
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
22 Dec 2025
When God, our Creator, created the world, the Holy Bible tells us he said, "Let there be Light... sky, water, earth, fish, animals..." He finally created man (Adam and Eve). Looking from above, he tel
apicture Cedric Prakash
22 Dec 2025
We are still taking censuses, still building walls, still deciding who belongs. And Christmas still comes every year, quietly asking if we have left any room, if we are willing to see God in unexpecte
apicture Dr John Singarayar
22 Dec 2025
Periyar, you preached reason and self-respect, You fought caste, oppression, and Brahminical dominance. You challenged the sacred scriptures, the rituals of the oppressors, You raised your voice fo
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
22 Dec 2025
Hindon airport shows how no-frills regional hubs can democratise flying. As aviation booms, India must back low-cost airports and diversified infrastructure, not metro congestion and monopolies, if af
apicture Pachu Menon
22 Dec 2025
India bankrolls rivals through dependence, brandishes self-reliance as a slogan, humiliates neighbours and minorities alike, and mistakes bravado for strength. History warns that nations weakened by r
apicture Thomas Menamparampil
22 Dec 2025
Climate change is hitting India hardest—weakening agriculture, deepening poverty, worsening health risks, and driving unsafe urban migration. Building resilience, enforcing climate justice, and aligni
apicture Fr. John Felix Raj & Prabhat Kumar Datta
22 Dec 2025