The Election Vaccine..!

Robert Clements
07 Sep 2020

In a huge white house somewhere in Washington, a lady walked slowly from room to room, staring sadly at each piece of historical furniture, “Whatcha doing?” asked her husband.

“Am gonna miss them table and chairs!” she said sadly, “I feel wretched leaving them!”

“Who says, we’re leaving them?” asked her blonde husband.

“Well the way the polls are showing, it looks like the country’s gonna send us packin’ back to our towers! said his wife.

“You gotta trust me darlin’!”

“Why you going to get them riled up against China again? Or you gonna tell our people again to wash their stomachs with detergent? You and your hairbrained schemes are driving the country mad!”

“Well darling surprise, surprise! Me and my hairbrained scheme is gonna see us sit here another four years!” grinned her husband.

“What are you planning to tell the people this time?” asked his wife looking at him curiously.

“I’m going to give them the vaccine, a day before voting day!” grinned her husband, “And every voter is gonna take that vaccined arm and press that machine button like a Tyson fist for me! Here, see this!”

His wife took the newspaper, which announced that the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention had notified all 50 states and five large cities to distribute the vaccine as early as November. 

“You got the vaccine!” screamed his wife doing a jig.

“Trust me to get what’s good for….”

“Donald!” completed his wife.

“Yes dear, that’s true! And, you know I’m good for this country! One visit to North Korea and the dictator is on the ventilator, one tweet on my phone, and the whole nation hates China, one statement on TV and white policemen are killing them black fellers! I’m good for the country, oh yes I am!”

“I’m still wondering how you managed to get the vaccine so far ahead of everybody?” pondered his wife, “And what you gonna call it?” she asked, holding up a syringe, ‘The Trump Poke’ ? or if it’s painless the ‘Trump Prick?’

“Nah,” said the blonde gentlemen his eyes gleaming as they did before a sharp business deal, “We’re just calling it the ‘Election Vaccine!”

“That’s a strange name?” she whispered puzzled, “Why ever would you want to call it that?”

“Because,” said the occupant of the white house in Washington, “the effects of the vaccine will last only till the elections!”

“What d’you mean?” asked his puzzled wife.

“The vaccine will drive millions to the booths to vote for me!” said the man with a smile, “And after I have won, they’ll find…”

“That it was not a vaccine, but distilled water!” screamed his wife, as her husband smiled and taught her another lesson in the Art of the Deal. A lesson many other countries will soon learn to fool their people with..!


(Published on 07th September 2020, Volume XXXII, Issue 37)

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