This is the true story of a friend who lives in Delhi NCR.

Simran, (not real name), mother of a grown-up son wanted to give herself a second chance at marriage. This time, she had fallen in love and it was not with someone who was selected by her parents for his money, family background etc. This man was her colleague; had a terrific sense of humour, taste in art and literature and, above all, respect for her single-parent status.

The marriage happened and they became parents of a girl child. Soon, they were sparring over little things and the squabbling reached a point the two began living in adjoining and yet separate houses in a posh apartment. Obviously, money was not a problem for both.

The couple lived separately, not realizing their only child was getting torn between their egos. As the child grew up, she took to drugs, watched sex videos on mobile, sent inappropriate messages to friends, binged on junk food and violently refused home-cooked food.

Demanding her right to privacy, she refused her mother’s entry into her room. She even stole money.

The couple would pander the child, fulfill all her demands by paying her money and ignored the untimely food deliveries to her. This made her a habitual blackmailer. All this would have continued but for the intervention by a discerning teacher at a Christian school where the little Miss was studying.

She called her parents: Mother insisted that only she would come as the child lived with her. What the teacher told about her daughter was enough to send her in a state of shock.

The girl was then sent to various boarding schools for ‘correction’; nothing worked and the child became a nervous wreck though she pretended to be the smartest one around. Simran was sad and so was her husband.

One day their life came to a stop when the news about the father’s death in a Noida hospital reached the mother-daughter duo. They had no idea that the person living next door had been ill and was hospitalized by friends.

The death of her husband probably shook the intellectual inside Simran; at his memorial, she admitted to his friends and family that there was nothing major between them to fight over. “I thought it would end soon; never realized time is not on our side,” a tearful Simran said.

 She admitted their egos had deprived their child of love; while she kept searching for schools for her to become normal, all that the girl wanted was unadulterated love of parents and normal life.

The last I heard from Simran was that during the pandemic lockdown the mother-daughter bonding had grown; the girl had started cooking and collecting the memorabilia of her father.

Alas the father, a perfect gentleman and a global professional is not around to see this.

It’s against such tendencies of the young and educated men and women that the Supreme Court has expressed worries about the growing trend: egos of parents destroying the childhood of their children.

 “In this endeavour to destroy each other, such couples destroy the childhood of their kids. Torn between their parents, children are left confused, and they lose the bond they should have with their siblings. We always say that these are not the cases for a court to adjudicate. When a couple has fallout and they come to a court, everything is hit below the belt.”

This observation of a Supreme Court bench, headed by Justice Sanjay K Kaul, is for all Simrans and their husbands, who in their mutual ego fights forget that they are destroying the happiness of their children. Living without love makes children suffer the consequences in life even after they have grown.

The Apex Court’s saying that it regrets it has to deal with several such cases where “children have to suffer because of the ego of their parent” is a warning for Indian parents.

The above-mentioned case before the Supreme Court is more about the egos of husband and wife than the welfare of their children. It seems the squabbling American-Thai couple had married, after falling in love, 20 years ago. Today they are fighting over which country and school their three children should go for studies and the matter has reached the Supreme court.

The judge told them: “Despite having a good education and financial background, both of them are focussed only on pulling each other down instead of making out something better of their lives.

“Just think about your children and if not them, for yourself. Why can’t you two think of a time in future when you can meet sometime, have a cup of coffee with each other. Why can’t you two move on? If not for anyone else, for your own self...” Mr. Justice Kaul told the couple.

The couple was before the court to resolve their fight about where their children should study. Their three children have dual citizenship of the USA and Thailand, but the parents would not agree with each other on their school or college.

Justice Kaul heard the case via video conference. He saw a tearful mother and a worried father. He told them, “You were once in love. You had three children together. And look at yourself now. In your attempt to exasperate each other, you care about nothing else, not your children and not even your own happiness.”

In fact, the judge finally told the couple that a country’s apex court should not be expected to sort out the problem of their clashing egos.

Sociologists link the growing assertion by women to the trend of growing parental disputes. With women becoming financially independent and western influences affecting Indians, divorces are considered normal. However, if both of them think from the perspective of their children, they would want to adjust to each other's strengths and weaknesses. Only if men and women in love would keep in mind that a family is not a zero-sum game or a Power Point presentation. Family is like a plant that has to be nurtured into a tree so that it blooms one day.