hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Ta-ta to Bedbugs in Business Class..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
01 Nov 2021

Even as I’m thrilled that Tata’s has bought Air-India, I remember the service I received on the few occasions I flew business class, “Yes sir! Please sir! What can I do for you sir!” “Will you have lobster for lunch sir, or caviar sir?” “Some champagne to go with your meal sir?”
And it’s not sir all the time, they also call you by name. It’s quite an experience and a delightful one! The seats are huge and comfortable, can be stretched right back and there’s even night clothes so your own won’t get crushed!
But then I heard, there were bedbugs in business class!
How could that ever be?  
It was on a Dreamliner, one of the latest aircraft. The sweetest airhostesses, like I said, they call you by name! The best food, and a big hole in your pocket, and this tiny bedbug crawls out while the plane flies over the Indian Ocean or Siberia, moves out of crevices along with brothers, sisters, friends and bedbug family and makes a meal of you!
The fliers who got off the aircraft, I heard, from different flights, said their families were bitten all over by the time they landed at their destination. I can imagine how they felt at first when they entered Business Class, “Oh daddy it’s so cool!”
“What spacious, wonderful seats!”
And bristling bedbugs listened under same seats, grinning, waiting their moment to strike, pound, bite and devour innocents, fooled by lavish interior and fancy uniform!
Are we like that airline before it was bought? Fooling people with reliable looking faces, gentle eyes, reassuring smiles and firm handshakes? All practiced in business schools and taught as marketing techniques and strategies?
Again and again we hear of politicians and even priests from all religions, suddenly making headlines as dark sexual escapades or murky financial transactions creep out of their Business Class personalities!
Crores had been spent on the latest aircraft! The best pilots trained to fly the planes and some of the prettiest airhostesses hired to serve you, but tiny bedbugs plunged the airline to a new low!
All it required was constant fumigating, checking cracks and crevices and cleaning.
And just as Tata’s has come to the rescue, and will soon I’m sure make the cabins and planes squeaky clean again, do we also need a good clean up job? All that is required is to allow the Great Fumigator, our God above, clean us inside out, because fancy clothes, pleasant smile, and customer friendly look will not help when bedbugs of hate, anger, intolerance, sexual immorality and other bugs are inside, waiting to crawl out!
Get a fumigating job done, and let’s say Ta-Ta to those bedbugs and become genuine business class..!

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

From colonial opium to today's smartphones, India has perfected the art of numbing its youth. While neighbours topple governments through conviction and courage, our fatalism breeds a quietism that su
apicture A. J. Philip
08 Dec 2025
Across state and cultural frontiers, a new generation is redefining activism—mixing digital mobilisation with grassroots courage to defend land, identity and ecology. Their persistence shows that mean
apicture Pachu Menon
08 Dec 2025
A convention exposing nearly 5,000 attacks on Christians drew barely fifteen hundred people—yet concerts pack stadiums. If we can gather for spectacle but not for suffering, our witness is fractured.
apicture Vijayesh Lal
08 Dec 2025
Leadership training empowers children with discipline, confidence, and clarity of vision. Through inclusive learning, social awareness, and value-based activities, they learn to respect diversity, exp
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
08 Dec 2025
The Kamalesan case reveals how inherited colonial structures continue to shape the Army's religious practices. By prioritising ritual conformity over constitutional freedom, the forces risk underminin
apicture Oliver D'Souza
08 Dec 2025
Zohran Mamdani's rise in New York exposes a bitter truth: a Muslim idealist can inspire America, yet would be unthinkable in today's India, where Hindutva politics has normalised bigotry and rendered
apicture Mathew John
08 Dec 2025
Climate change is now a daily classroom disruptor, pushing the already precariously perched crores of Indian children—especially girls and those in vulnerable regions—out of learning. Unless resilient
apicture Jaswant Kaur
08 Dec 2025
The ideas sown in classrooms today will shape the country tomorrow. India must decide whether it wants citizens who can think, question, and understand—or citizens trained only to conform. The choice
apicture Fr Soroj Mullick, SDB
08 Dec 2025
In your Jasmine hall, I landed Hoping to find refuge, to be free, and sleep, But all I met were your stares, sharp, cold, and protesting.
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
08 Dec 2025
Children are either obedient or disobedient. If they are obedient, we treat them as our slaves. And if they are rebellious, we wash our hands of them. Our mind, too, is like a child, and children are
apicture P. Raja
08 Dec 2025